The biggest loan of my life...

It's getting closer. I got a message from my mortgage broker. He says my credit looks great. He is now looking for a low down, first time buyer mortgage for me. Yay me. Scary but exciting. Woo.

Teary eyed Sunday afternoon...

I just watched Legends of the Fall. I have seen the movie eight, maybe ten times. But every time I see it, I cry at the end when Alfred comes and saves the family. I don't know why for sure. Maybe I can relate more with him that with Tristan. This quote kind of rips through me...

I followed all of the rules, man's and God's. And you, you followed none of
them. And they all loved you more.

Home Buying...

I am starting the process of buying a house. I feel so lost. The first step, for me at least, is to talk to a mortgage broker. Guess I'll see what he has to say and then decide if I am ready. I have so many half formed questions in my head. I'm still at the point where I don't even have an entire question to ask. All I really know is that I need more money, I need more down payment and that making a commitment this big scares the holy hell out of me. yikes.

It's hot as hell...

Holy God it is hot here today. I was out in the 106 degree heat for a few hours and thought I was going to die. The high today was 111. I drank a bottle of water an hour all day and never peed once. Hot hot hot!

Thank goodness I am not in NY or some of the other places back east where they have no power. I don't know how people are standing it. Once I got home today, I cranked the AC up, took a nice cool shower and have no plans to leave the house again until it gets dark.

I can remember in college when I spent the summer in Pullman. It was horribly hot (low 100's) and there was no AC in my summer apartment. I would come home from work, take a shower and go to bed. On my days off, I did things like go to whatever movie was playing so I could cool off or go to McDonalds to study since they kept the dining room nice and cool. Some things about growing up aren't bad-feeling like AC is a luxury is surely one of them.

I worry about my 95-year-old grandmother in this heat. I have called to check on her a couple of times today. She's inside and cool and just finished napping while watching tv. Seems to be all good there.

Review time...

I got my yearly appraisal today at work. It was really really good. I so did not expect that. I honestly thought that my score would go down a lot from last year given comments by my supervisor all the time. But it was good. Almost all of the remarks were really positive. I don't know what went on, but I'll sure take it. Rah!

Congrads!

My pet peeve of the day... People who spell congratulations with a "D". Hate it hate it hate it. Around graduation time, it was even spelled that way on the Burger King sign. I was embarrassed for the poor kid who put it up there, even though they probably didn't know any difference. My boss spells it that way. It's always great when she sends an email "Congraduations on the great job, team!" Somehow, I just can't take praise when it is spelled wrong. Guess I'm a snob. I should really work at getting over it. Maybe next week.

Night Terrors...

I learned the term "Night Terrors" recently. Until I heard it, I never had a word or a real way to describe what used to happen to me when I lived in my last town and last house. I used to have episodes (dreams I suppose but they seemed to be so real) where I imagined people wandering around in my house. They would try to steal my money or my checkbook or credit cards. At the time, money was a huge point of stress in my life. I was so deep in debt and so behind on payments.

On night, in real life, I had a stranger knock on the door in the middle of the night. They were fairly innocent, asked for directions. Asked to use the phone which I refused. But the fact that they knocked at three am scared the hell out of me. For months afterwards, I would wake in the morning sure that someone had been at the door again, sure that I had talked to them. At times, even sure that they had been in my home and staring at me while I was in bed.

Oh, these episodes scared me. I think the biggest thing was the absolute feeling that the events were real. Even though I had been asleep in bed for the past eight hours.

I would wake in the morning at four or five or ten-whatever time I needed to wake for work-bathed in sweat and scared out of my mind.

When I was laid off and moved back to home, I never had the dream/episode again. I didn't realize it at the time, but that was part of the reason I was scared to live alone again.... I was worried the terrors would come back.

Interesting, isn't it? Some people are scared of spiders and snakes, monsters, lions and tigers and bears...Oh MY! I was scared of people. Not even people who were espeically scary to look at or talk to. Just people. The mind is a strange thing sometimes. All I know is that it was the scariest six months of my life.

I heard the term night terror again today and it got me thinking about that time. Thank god it's over. Four years have come and gone and those scary feelings have gone away.

Meme Tag...

I've been tagged. I love these things, I'm such a geek.

4 jobs I have held:
Helper Clerk at Safeway
Academic Advisor
Store Manager
Social Worker

4 movies I'd watch over and over: (In my head right now, should I be honest and look stupid and juvenile or lie and seem pompous?)
Grapes of Wrath (pompous)
Bring it On (stupid and juvenile)
To Kill a Mockingbird (I can watch movies based on great American novels, look at me, look at me...)
10 Things I Hate About You (yep, I'm a big kid)

4 places I've lived:
Sandy, Utah
Moses Lake, WA
Lakewood, WA
Pullman, WA

4 TV shows I love/have loved:
Lost
Gilmore Girls
Friends
Northern Exposure

4 web sites I visit daily:
Pretty boring here-Hotmail and MSN
my Yahoo so I can read my daily Boondocks and FBOFW hits
VH1's Best Week Ever Blog
MSNBC

I have no blog friends here, so if someone comes along and reads this. Feel free to friend me and let my know your favorite 4 meme's!

A blog lost and rediscovered...

SO, I have been home, alone and sick for three days now. I'm totally bored and restless but feeling pretty lethargic and crappy still. I am so bored (and coincidentally, boring) that I just googled myself. And under Sunie I found...This blog! I kind of forgot that I had it. It has been sorely neglected since early 2005. I could have had two babies since the last time I wrote in this blog. I could have climbed Mt. Everest and run the Boston Marathon. Of course, I didn't do any of those things. IF I had, I would have had something impressive to blog about, right?

I just finished my yearly vacation to the beach. I do love the beach. There is just something peaceful about the water and the waves and maybe even the realization that their power could crush us all. We went to SeaSide Oregon this year. I wasn't really that impressed. It was ok. Not great. We had an ok time. Not great. The best thing about the trip is that Oregon has no sales tax. That way, when you go to the Liz Claiborne outlet, they only charge you the price of the three handbags and two pairs of sunglasses you buy, not 7.2% more or whatever it is that they charge in Washington.

I turned 32 while we were away. My birthday was also... (wait for it, wait for it...) ok. No big bang there. Fought with my assjerk of a brother before he packed his family up and went home, opened the presents that I expected, didn't get a cake since there were left over cupcakes from my nephew's birthday. We went to Astoria (where they filmed the Goonies-one of the most badass movies, ever!) and looked around, toured an abandoned fort system dating back to the Civil War. Came home and took a nap since I was starting to feel crappy.

Tomorrow I go back to work after 6 glorious days off. Since I am feeling so bored by now, I am almost ready to go back. Wish I was feeling a bit better though. I think I'll go to bed now and pray for health and a less red nose by morning. Go away cough, go away sore throat. I get to go to work tomorrow!!!

Ciao, blog. I'll try to stay in closer touch!