Get him a body bag. Yeah!!!
Oh, Miyagi San. You were such a vital part of my youth. So wise with your wax on and wax offing.
I love you Encore for the back to back Miyagi thrill tonight.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
Welcome 2010
I always like to look and see what the stars have in store for my new year. I only choose to believe in the stuff that I like or I relate to but I'll take what I can get. I'm ready for that new connection, I'm ready for new supports and friends and relationships. If there was a star to wish upon tonight, that would be my wish. Good thing Captain Horoscope seems to be sending me (and the millions of other Cancers out there) the right ju ju.
Cancer Outlook for 2010
One thing that all Crabs (astrological Cancers or the seafood type of crab) know deep in their hearts is that someone, somewhere out there knows how great it would be to bust them wide open and eat them with melted butter. The big news for you this year, Cancer, is that Pluto has moved into your Seventh House, which rules marriage, partnerships and close relationships. This means that someone may very well be cracking your heart open in the next year.
Cancer has a bit of a reputation for enjoying doom and gloom. You don't. You just seem to get more than your fair share of it. It must be that thick shell of yours. Everyone assumes you can just take it.
The good news is that you earned that reputation because you can take it, and more. And often, your greatest moments come when you have overcome the greatest obstacles. Thankfully, the roadblocks you face in 2010 won't be that devastating, but they'll certainly give you an opportunity to shine. New support and new energy will be entering your life from unexpected and overlooked people and things, and you'll be able to soar above it all!
Cancer Outlook for 2010
One thing that all Crabs (astrological Cancers or the seafood type of crab) know deep in their hearts is that someone, somewhere out there knows how great it would be to bust them wide open and eat them with melted butter. The big news for you this year, Cancer, is that Pluto has moved into your Seventh House, which rules marriage, partnerships and close relationships. This means that someone may very well be cracking your heart open in the next year.
Cancer has a bit of a reputation for enjoying doom and gloom. You don't. You just seem to get more than your fair share of it. It must be that thick shell of yours. Everyone assumes you can just take it.
The good news is that you earned that reputation because you can take it, and more. And often, your greatest moments come when you have overcome the greatest obstacles. Thankfully, the roadblocks you face in 2010 won't be that devastating, but they'll certainly give you an opportunity to shine. New support and new energy will be entering your life from unexpected and overlooked people and things, and you'll be able to soar above it all!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Baby tomato, catch up...
Work right now reminds me of that old joke about the three tomatoes walking down the road. I don't remember the exact setup but it was something about the baby tomato falling behind over and over , mama and papa tomato kept telling him to hurry or he would get hit by a car. Baby tomato didn't listen and he continued to walk slower and slower. Finally, a truck runs him over and papa tomato says...Baby tomato, Ketchup! I feel like I'm falling further and further behind, sooner or later, I'll just be a red spot of road kill on my desk.
I'm depressed about recent budget news. Depressed about directions we are taking things here and overwhelmed by the volume of work I have to do. Given all of that, I am sitting here right now looking at the piles of paper that need filing or data entry or processing of some kind and just can't seem to lift one of them to get started. I don't usually mind this sort of thing. I just can't deal today.
We are seeing more people that are harder and harder to help. Some who don't even want to be assisted. Some want to say on unemployment forever, some are sick or mentally unwell, some who lack any motivation at all. Some who really have goals in mind, things they want to accomplish, but I don't have the resources to help them. This shit is a little depressing.
Depressing. That does seem to be the word of the day. I don't think I'm usually like that. Not that I'm any sort of Susie Sunshine. But I'm not usually in full funk either. Need something to look forward to. Something coming to feel excitement over. A few of my favorite things. 1000 awesome things. Free things. Happy things. Funny things. Some things.
Instead, today seems to be a big ole shade of gray. I lost an earring. My pants are too tight in the butt. My feet are cold. In a normal day, I could find at least a little humor about the lady in the lobby who shit herself yesterday and caused the whole building to over spray with air freshener which caused an asthma attack in me that caused me to take an extra long lunch. Not this week. This week, I'm feeling sorry for her, for myself. Instead of wondering where she got that kick ass tiara, I'm sad that a 60 year old woman would feel that a princess tiara was appropriate in the first place. I think I haven't lost my mojo, I've lost my humor.
World, I think it's time you send me something to put a smile on my pissy face. Send a joke. Send a comic. Send a stupid person for me to laugh at. Just a little something to change my mood tide-I need to shift from sad to laughing.
I'm depressed about recent budget news. Depressed about directions we are taking things here and overwhelmed by the volume of work I have to do. Given all of that, I am sitting here right now looking at the piles of paper that need filing or data entry or processing of some kind and just can't seem to lift one of them to get started. I don't usually mind this sort of thing. I just can't deal today.
We are seeing more people that are harder and harder to help. Some who don't even want to be assisted. Some want to say on unemployment forever, some are sick or mentally unwell, some who lack any motivation at all. Some who really have goals in mind, things they want to accomplish, but I don't have the resources to help them. This shit is a little depressing.
Depressing. That does seem to be the word of the day. I don't think I'm usually like that. Not that I'm any sort of Susie Sunshine. But I'm not usually in full funk either. Need something to look forward to. Something coming to feel excitement over. A few of my favorite things. 1000 awesome things. Free things. Happy things. Funny things. Some things.
Instead, today seems to be a big ole shade of gray. I lost an earring. My pants are too tight in the butt. My feet are cold. In a normal day, I could find at least a little humor about the lady in the lobby who shit herself yesterday and caused the whole building to over spray with air freshener which caused an asthma attack in me that caused me to take an extra long lunch. Not this week. This week, I'm feeling sorry for her, for myself. Instead of wondering where she got that kick ass tiara, I'm sad that a 60 year old woman would feel that a princess tiara was appropriate in the first place. I think I haven't lost my mojo, I've lost my humor.
World, I think it's time you send me something to put a smile on my pissy face. Send a joke. Send a comic. Send a stupid person for me to laugh at. Just a little something to change my mood tide-I need to shift from sad to laughing.
Feeling Funky...
I went to bed crying and dreamed angry all last night. I'm sad and emotional and pissed off at the world. I need a hug and a drink and a bar of chocolate.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
I like to read some...
Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
2a) Add a '-' to the ones you'd rather be set on fire than have to read again. (CKE)
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total at the bottom.
How many have you read?
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x-
2 The Lord of the Rings
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x+
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x+
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte x
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x-
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger x+
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x+
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald x+
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams x
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh *
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky x
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck x+
29 Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x+
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens x
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis x
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x+
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini x
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres *
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden x-
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne x
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell x
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown x+
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding x+
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan x
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel x+
52 Dune - Frank Herbert *
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons *
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens x
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
*
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck x
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold x
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas x
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville x-
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker x
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson x
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath x
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens x
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Alborn x
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle x
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x+
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas x
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x+
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo x
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
2a) Add a '-' to the ones you'd rather be set on fire than have to read again. (CKE)
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.
4) Tally your total at the bottom.
How many have you read?
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x-
2 The Lord of the Rings
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x+
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x+
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte x
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x-
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger x+
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x+
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald x+
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams x
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh *
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky x
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck x+
29 Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x+
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens x
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis x
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x+
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini x
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres *
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden x-
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne x
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell x
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown x+
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding x+
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan x
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel x+
52 Dune - Frank Herbert *
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons *
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens x
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
*
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck x
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold x
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas x
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville x-
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker x
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson x
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath x
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens x
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Alborn x
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle x
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x+
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas x
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x+
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo x
Sunday, September 20, 2009
I"m calling it swine flu anyway...
I have been sick. Superbly sick. You name the symptoms, I'll lie claim to them. Boils, pestilence, hair loss, red eye. Yep, I've had them this past week.
I went to the doctor today. They gave me a flu test. That will go down as one of the more painful, unpleasant tests I have experienced. I think I would rather give blood samples or pee in a cup than this.
First the doctor takes something plastic wrapped out from the cupboard. Not able to see it clearly, the naive patient thinks, “Oh no! A needle!” Wrong wrong wrong. It is the biggest, longest q-tip imaginable. The doctor then takes unsuspecting patient by the back of the head, holds tightly and warns them to bear with him for a moment. Then he shoves that q-tip up into your head, through the right nostril presumably far enough to reach brain tissue. Tears were streaming down my face by the time this torture was done. I’m not positive, but I think it lasted 15 or 20 minutes. Or maybe a few seconds. Either way, it was hell. He then rushes out of the room, q-tip held aloft. Obviously not wanting any of my cooties.
So after 20 minutes spent learning the symptoms of an inner ear infection from the handy chart on the wall, the doc returns. He tells me that I do not have the flu, it’s just a virus. So in my newly acquired, deep smoker sounding voice I squeak “This was just a cold?” He sort of pats me on the hand and again says “a vvvvvviiiiiiirrrrrrruuuuuuuuuussssssss” real slow as if I’m sort of special. I mention that colds are viruses. He sort of oh, yeahs that.
Apparently, this crapola cold has been the source of my fun for the past week. I’m totally telling everyone at work that I had the swine flu. If I have to pay $25 to have my right nostril raped, I should be able to use any diagnosis I want.
I went to the doctor today. They gave me a flu test. That will go down as one of the more painful, unpleasant tests I have experienced. I think I would rather give blood samples or pee in a cup than this.
First the doctor takes something plastic wrapped out from the cupboard. Not able to see it clearly, the naive patient thinks, “Oh no! A needle!” Wrong wrong wrong. It is the biggest, longest q-tip imaginable. The doctor then takes unsuspecting patient by the back of the head, holds tightly and warns them to bear with him for a moment. Then he shoves that q-tip up into your head, through the right nostril presumably far enough to reach brain tissue. Tears were streaming down my face by the time this torture was done. I’m not positive, but I think it lasted 15 or 20 minutes. Or maybe a few seconds. Either way, it was hell. He then rushes out of the room, q-tip held aloft. Obviously not wanting any of my cooties.
So after 20 minutes spent learning the symptoms of an inner ear infection from the handy chart on the wall, the doc returns. He tells me that I do not have the flu, it’s just a virus. So in my newly acquired, deep smoker sounding voice I squeak “This was just a cold?” He sort of pats me on the hand and again says “a vvvvvviiiiiiirrrrrrruuuuuuuuuussssssss” real slow as if I’m sort of special. I mention that colds are viruses. He sort of oh, yeahs that.
Apparently, this crapola cold has been the source of my fun for the past week. I’m totally telling everyone at work that I had the swine flu. If I have to pay $25 to have my right nostril raped, I should be able to use any diagnosis I want.
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