I grieved last night. Hard. Like my heart was breaking and would never be the same. I think I needed a night to fall apart, now I am more composed. I'm glad I let myself go that way. But I sure felt like hell at the time. I cried and cried and cried. The dog stared at me like I was crazy. Last night was a night that I really hated living alone.
Today, my brother and family came to visit. I think we all knew that this could possibly be the last. It was a nice day. She was so exhausted though. Slipping away a little at a time.
We have been through these health scares before. She had a new heart valve at 92 and bounced back. I know it's not realistic; but I keep hoping for that grand bounce back. Hoping and hoping and wishing and praying. I have pretty ambiguous religious feelings and beliefs, but I am praying. Throwing hopes up to the sky. Wishes, thoughts, promises.
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